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And not only does Green Man Flashing have all the right moves in all the right places aesthetically, but the text of this post-post democratic masterpiece delves into the collective conscious of South African political psychology and facilitates the debate of individual rights v. ‘the bigger picture’.

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Was it the dramatised swipes at unheard iTunes that had us captivated and chuckling in recognition? Or the more pithy penetrations into our own darkest fears? “Do you ever get that feeling that life hasn’t started yet?” Cuningham enquired into the darkness of the auditorium… unerringly tuning our emotions into the heartfelt plight of his character.

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Bit by bit the Assembly filled up with ravey looking club-goers for the much anticipated launch of the Dim Mak release of internationally acclaimed DJ Haezer’s, The Wrong Kid Died.

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If nothing else, it’s often extremely amusing and, as Banksy himself stated: “maybe all art is about just trying to live on for a bit.”

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The array of performances is like a queen’s banquet, feasted on by the eyes of the hungry audience. From tap dancers to cabaret girls, the flamboyant display of costumes and props adds to the perfect combination of acting and dancing.

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It’s the perfect place to find trinkets and gadgets and little works of art. But mostly it’s a place to find fabulous food. Located in what could be called the armpit of Hout Bay harbour, the Bay Harbour Market is a shining beacon of trendy weekend living. Other than the expensive tarps covering the side, the building from the outside could easily be mistaken for an old fish factory.

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“Music is our food” he said, “you can have it for breakfast, lunch or supper.” A good thing too, because the beer wasn’t cheap, but with sounds this good and a crowd this friendly, it didn’t even matter.

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This is far more than rows of cat and dogs in cages. This is a one-stop shop for all pet owners, animal lovers or parents wanting an unusual outing for their kids.

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Thanks perhaps to an overdose of Hollywood Christmas movies many of us South Africans have come to crave a White Christmas, not just with snow but preferably also ice skating in Central Park. Well, good news folks! Those nice people at the V&A Waterfront have taken a sneak peak at Santa’s wish list and have realised one of these dreams in true South African style…a portable ice-rink from Ice World…

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Zoom in from a backdrop of the mountains of Franschhoek to where the sun shines lazily on people lounging on picnic blankets… they tuck into heaped platters selected from groaning tables with fluttering white table cloths while gentle entertainment is provided by local bands and musicians. Surely you can’t go wrong with a festival in Franschhoek? Well, yes. Sadly you can.

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Under silent images of James Bond films, spilling onto a wall from a big screen projector, we were greeted by blackjack tables, roulette wheels, serious-faced men seated at the poker tables and women in beautiful dresses flinging dice across the craps table with reckless abandon.

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Enerchi Emporium at the Kalk Bay TheatreEnerchi Emporium, a newly developed multi-genre dance studio, realises the field of dance as a platform to build one’s self esteem and encourages the idea that anyone can dance so long the passion and the will to dance is alive.

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The acting from the young cast is extraordinary. Most of the characters are so well developed one would think it was due to the emotional journey taken over the course of a long play, not a persona ‘slipped into’ a few minutes ago along with a minor wardrobe change.

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There is no genre box in which to pigeonhole him; one song may be Folk, the next Soft Rock but all of it is Gary Thomas.

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Once the concert started my doubts were soon put to rest. These artists were musically assured and had engaging stage personalities to boot. The programme offered an interesting choice of works that alternated between different ensemble combinations, showcasing each performer’s abilities, as well as the interesting new sound possibilities that the unusual combination of voice, piano and marimba has to offer.

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Rihanna is beautiful. Last night in Cape Town stadium she looked the epitome of a kick ass rock star in her micro leopard print jumpsuit and Jeremy Scott sneakers. And the more I think about it the more realise that I now officially have a crush on her.
Because damn, she is a superstar

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Show Boat has it all: The social commentary, a 40-year timeline for intense character development, a strong-voiced cast of nearly 50. And then it has the songs. Songs like ‘Can’t Help Lovin’ Dat Man’ and ‘Why Do I Love You?’ just melt the listener away into the moment, but the most recognizable must be ‘Old Man River’. Xolela Sixaba as Joe (also played by Paul Madibeng) masterfully conveys the slow trickle of time and the wisdom of the river with his deep bass rendition of the song, an entire cultural history reverberating through his voice as he sings: “I get weary and sick of trying/ I’m tired of living but scared of dying”.

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The possibility of panic buying was assuaged by the sensible ruling that it was ‘looking only’ from 5pm until 7pm, and thereafter people could select their choice to take home by placing their sticker on the chosen piece. Now there’s no way that you can see 8000 artworks in just two hours, and in a way that’s a relief: There was something on offer for everyone – just pick one. I put my sticker onto a beautiful sketch of an orca, of which I am now the proud owner.

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Stepping off the street and into the building, guests were immediately greeted and shown around. The venue, styled like a giant Manhattan loft, was completely open-plan, with a stage at one end and tables and chairs spreading out from it. Littlegiggers were dressed up to the nines, and the waiters not only looked dapper but were incredibly proficient.

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Memory Nhlanhla Mkhwanazi“Sit properly!” Nhlanhla Mkhwanazi points at me with an accusatory finger from the small stage. I uncross my legs and straighten my back. He walks to the other side of the stage. “Chest out!” The guy in the second row drops his shoulders and puffs out his chest. Authority has been established. We are here to listen. And what a story there is to be told.

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Stepping into the Petticoat Parlour Beauty Salon, one expects to find Sandra Dee from Grease perched on the lime green leather barstool, sipping a soda pop and eating a cute cupcake.

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Six beers went with six foods. The beers went from light to bitter, and the chef discussed his reasons for the flavours of each accompanying dish. It’s a lot of information to process, but you’re sure to walk away knowing more about beer than you did before and a slightly more cultured pallet with which to annoy your friends at the pub.

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the evening involved highs – and sometimes lows – of comedic genius. The small setting of the Mash Tun room behind the main bar provides for an intimate engagement with the relatively small audience. This has little impact on the audience’s reaction to the acts though, as the quality of jokes either has the audience in genuine stitches or fall unanimously flat as punters divert their awkward reactions with long pulls on their beer.

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South Africa’s very own Belinda Davids sounds remarkably like Whitney Houston. If I had shut my eyes, I’d have been convinced that I was listening to the legend herself. On top of this, Davids has an easy grace about her that dissolves any fear of witnessing an agonisingly try-hard tribute.

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I was pleasantly surprised by the preservation of the original script, as I expected the African approach to drown out De Wet’s magical realism. The Africanisms, however, were not overpowering, and instead transported the performance to a more relatable, contemporary South African context.

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When we entered the Caribbean-themed restaurant Jamaica Me Crazy early on Tuesday evening, we were greeted by reggae music, friendly waiters and relaxed patrons who were casually chatting and sipping their beers. I was one half of a pair playing against groups of four and five – which is probably why we lost. That, and we hadn’t a clue.

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With multiple ‘lead singers’, the stage dynamics made for fascinating viewing. Francois van Coke and George van der Spuy played solid backup when needed, killing it when they had the main mic. Black Cat Bones’s Kobus De Kock Jnr stalked the stage like a caged lion.

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Each actor in the cast plays multiple roles, treating audience members to a true show of talent. As South Africans it is important for us to be able to appreciate theatre that is pure, easy entertainment – a laugh for laughter’s sake. The characters are quirky and loveable, raving mad, mentally challenged, scarily devoted to the bible, gay, lesbian, happy, lonely, sad and silly.

Funerals, Kidnappings, Swizzle Sticks and Other Distractions is a fun 80 minutes of carefree entertainment in the elegant setting of the Galloway Theatre. Grab a friend, a lover or family member to join you, but remember: no under 18s.

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