Review: J&B Met


JB Met 2011The flashy, fashionable and famous all flocked to the most elegant event of the year …and if it’s a chance to dress up to the nines and do some celebrity spotting you can count me in!

This year’s theme was ‘Larger than Life’ and entertainers included Michael Jackson and Elvis Presley-themed stilt walkers and Vegas-style showgirls.  So far so good.  I managed to catch a glimpse of former Miss SA Jo-Anne Strauss,  FHM hottie Roxy Louw and swimming sensation, Ryk Neethling… even better!  I tried to get a bit closer to Mr. Neethling.  After all, when you’ve seen a man in speedos you feel like you know him intimately.

My companion meanwhile was goggling a bevy of beauties gliding past as if they were walking on water.  I just don’t understand how some girls manage it – I clearly need more practice as my heels kept digging into the grass.  Hair, nail and eyelash extensions dominated among the ladies – presumably for the Larger Than Life theme – with the result that many girls looked like Kim Kardashian clones.  It made me want to rebel, so when Karen Zoid took to the stage I kicked off the heels, whipped my hair back and forth and rocked out!  Well I would have, but my heels were stuck again and I couldn’t get to the stage.

True to the theme of the event the weather was hot hot hot and the few shaded areas were jealously guarded.  I encountered a further problem when, having finally elbowed my way to a spot under a tree I realised that sitting on the ground might not be great for my beautiful new dress… but I swallowed my pride and sat, trying to keep my dress covering my crotch while eating with chopsticks and drinking beer.  Yes, it was a doomed attempt, but I consoled myself with the fact that I was in fact being sensible by staying out of the sun.

Then it was time for the main race of the day and I was carried on the general wave of people to the side of the racecourse.  I was betting on the two favourites, Pocket Power and Mother Russia.  Had I not been so tipsy, I might even have bought a ticket.  When the fillies came frolicking past, the cheers and rants were definitely for ‘my’ horses… but then out of the blue, came a new superstar – Past Master.  All very exciting but it was time to leave.  After all, now that I was all warmed up I had a date with the sunset, a Margarita and 5FM beats at St. Yves in Camps Bay.  Let the night begin….


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